Highway to Heaven
by xXxXNarutoFreakXxXx
Summary: One cliche after another...well, not really. She woke up one morning after a year of drugs, partying and alcohol and realized that this wasn't the life her father would've wanted. So she gets enrolled in a private school where, slowly, she opens up again. A story of love and friendship, what could be better?
1. Chapter 1

Ch 1: What have I walked into?

"Hi, my name is Sakura Haruno, I'm the new student." The woman behind that desk looked at me through her glasses, tried to smile, but I noticed right away that she didn't do that very often, typed some things on her computer and looked up again.

"Yes, darling. Why don't you go on ahead in the principal's office and I'll have everything you need ready for you when you come out. Is your mum coming later?" I was surprised to find out she was British.

"No, just me. She wanted to come but work kept her busy." I tried to smile too, but it was probably clear smiling wasn't something I liked to do.

"Oh, dear. I hope it won't be a problem. Just go in then." I nodded and didn't bother with the smile. I had to stop myself in front of the office and think. I had to truly act like I belonged here. I was dressed properly enough, decent enough. My hair was done in a professional way. I repeated what I had to say last night. I was already accepted to this school, but that didn't mean they couldn't kick me out. I needed this school more than anything. I knocked. I remembered to knock and that's a good thing. I walked in after that breathing in and out. The small man at the desk looked at me smiling and told me to sit down. Unlike the secretary and I, he probably smiled more often.

"Miss Haruno, I presume. How do you do? Will your mother be joining us?" He asked me as I made myself comfortable.

"I'm sorry, no. She has some problems at work, she sends her regards though." Not changing his expression, he looks at the papers in front of him.

"That's quite lovely of her, but her presence would have been a bit more appreciated. Nonetheless, allow me to recite to you the few rules of this school." I nodded, ignoring the comment about my mother. It was quite an accomplishment since I used to be easily annoyed. "This is not a public school, do you understand? There will be no cutting class, no drinking of any alcoholic substances, no smoking. You are not allowed to have any boys in your dorm room, nor are you to be found in a boy's dorm room. This is an elite school, if you can't raise to our expectations then I advise you to choose another school. If your grades start looking worse and worse then I advise you to choose another school. If you find yourself not being able to follow the rules then I advise you to choose another school. Are we clear Miss Haruno?" At the end of his speech which I am sure he gives to every single new student I nod slightly scared. It was him that scared me. And he said all that with such a kind expression. "Very well, Miss Haruno. That would be all. Any question you have will be answered by Miss Tsunade, my assistant. You are free to go." He smiled again. I twitched.

Outside the principal's assistant was waiting for me with a small stack of papers.

"Alright darling. Here is your schedule, your room number and locker number and a map to it, a map of the campus, a book of rules and a pamphlet with a list of clubs. You have to join at least a club, remember that." This school seemed tough, but I feel like it is exactly what I need. I take the papers, thank her and walk out focusing on my breathing. I take out the map to my room and follow it exactly.

The campus seemed old. It had a yard surrounded by buildings. The main building was the school while the left building was the boys' dormitory and the right building was, obviously, the girls' dormitory. It had a British feel to it, everything was solemn.

I take out my phone, which was ringing, and answer it quickly because the sound was incredibly loud.

"Yes?" I answer.

"Hi, sweetie, did you settle in?" It was my mom, I should have known.

"Not yet, I'm on my way."

"Well, that's great! How's the main man? Is he an old fart?" For a 47 years old woman, my mother could be quite immature.

"No."

"Honey, is something wrong? You talk less than usual."

"Do I? I didn't notice." The truth was, there actually was something wrong with me. But my mother was the last person I wanted to talk to about it.

"Well then. I have to go. Don't call okay? I don't know if I can answer, just wait for my call." Like I usually do. I would've said sure but she was already gone.

I sighed. I wasn't in the mood today.

My dorm wasn't anything special. It was small and I had no roommate because I requested a single. I had a desk, a bed, a small bathroom with a shower, a sink, and a toilet, a second door that probably led to a small closet and a mirror on that door. Boxes were in the middle of the room, waiting for me. At least my things didn't get lost. I looked at the clock that I found above my new desk and noticed that I was already incredibly late to my first class. I decided to not show up at all since it would be considered disrespect. I had a few things to do anyway.

I showered and changed, let my hair out of its bun and was ready just in time for my second class. I didn't know what to prepare for so I just grabbed a pen, a notebook, the book I was reading at the moment and $10. The good thing about living in a dorm is that if you forget something you can go back to get it. I walked out of my room and went to find my class.

I didn't notice the students in this school, frankly I didn't care about them. I wasn't here to make friends, I was here to get better. Once I found the classroom, I grabbed a sit in the back and waited.

"What, are you stupid? That's my sit." I looked up and saw a girl looking at me like I just killed someone she loved. Her glasses made her glare a bit worse. At that point I didn't know how to continue. I could have started a fight or I could have just got up and walked away. I like to think I did the right thing. I got up, but I let her know I didn't like it. She was so happy I heard her imagining a happy dance. It was embarrassing, really. And the only sit I got left was one in the front row not that it mattered but when I was in the back I knew no one could have talked about me without me knowing. I was the new girl after all, there was bound to be gossip.

Suddenly I hear the same girl laughing. I turn around and I see she tripped someone else. It was a blonde girl with long hair. She sighed and kept moving without looking back. She must be getting bullied a lot by the red-head if that's her reaction.

"Hey! Aren't you gonna say something? How about sorry for hitting my foot." The blonde girl turns around looking at the floor and mutters a pathetic "Sorry"

"That was pathetic!" We agreed on that. "Louder" The blonde one tries again and the red-headed one seems pleased. I certainly don't want to get in the middle of that situation.

The class finally starts and I sink in my chair and listen. It was nice to enjoy a lesson again, I haven't done it in a long time. Unfortunately time passed by faster than I would've liked. The class was done and I had to go back outside, return to the real world. I guess it was an opportunity to find my locker.

It wasn't easy to find my locker. The number was 215 which meant it was on the second floor. I found a 215 but there was someone looking through it so I assumed it was a wrong 215, but when I found nothing I went back to the first 215.

"Excuse me, I think this is my locker." I said to the person. The guy pulled his head out of the locker and looked at me surprised for a moment then he relaxed.

"Ah, you must be my locker buddy." That's how I found out lockers were shared. That was just fantastic.

"Can you move aside then?" He looked at me then took a step back and I started putting my things on the empty shelf.

"So what's your name?" He asked. I wasn't in the mood for chitchat.

"...Sakura." I say not looking at him. I really wanted him to go away.

"That's it? Just Sakura? Fine then. I'm Sasuke Uchiha." He said that like I was supposed to know him. I didn't acknowledge his statement. "So, what's your last name?" His curiosity was getting on my nerves. I looked at him with a nasty expression which he ignored and finally answered.

"Haruno.."

"And why did you come here?" Like I was about to tell him why, I didn't even know him. My mom has no idea why I suddenly wanted to come here and he has the nerve to imply that he has the right to know.

"I just did."

"Okay, don't tell me. I'll find out eventually." Yeah...good luck with that. I grabbed what I needed from my locker which was everything I had with me, closed it and walked away. "I wasn't done, you know." I kept going. "You could at least say sorry." What bothered me most is that he sounded amused.

My next class was English lit. I loved books so everything was a breeze. This school wasn't as tough as it looked. Thankfully, after that was lunch and I was quite famished. I just had to join a club real quick and then go and eat like a bear. It was a good plan.

I saw on the pamphlet a music club and I figured since I have quite a history in playing the piano I should join. Of course, I stopped playing in the last year because of...all that happened, but it can't be that bad. Joining was easy I saw, finding the music room was harder and the map wasn't helping me. I did find it eventually, but lunch was almost over. When I reached the cafeteria, the blonde girl I saw earlier was running out with a huge stain on her shirt. Inside you could hear laughter. I rolled my eyes and sighed when I saw that Sasuke running after her. Was he her boyfriend or brother or anything? Curiosity took over me and I followed them.

They stopped in front of my locker...and his locker I guess. He pulled out a sweater which I saw before and gave it to her.

"Thanks" She says in a low voice. The guy sighed.

"You should really stop doing what she says. What are you so scared of?" I knew this happened often.

"You don't understand Sasuke...she can make it worse for me. I would rather just leave it like this."

"No, she won't. She's a bully, just show her you're not bothered and that's it." This guy clearly didn't know how to deal with bullies.

"Just forget it. I'll go wash up." That's when she got up and left. She walked right past me and didn't say a word. I looked at her as she walked away and then turned back to Sasuke. He was quite angry.

"I know you're there." I hear him say. I didn't come out, just in case he's not talking to me. "Are you deaf? Come out already." I sigh. There was no one else around so I walked around the corner and towards him. "Oh, it's you." So he didn't see me? How did he know I was there.

He didn't say anything else. Just leaned against the locker and looked at the ceiling. Surprisingly I was the one to talk again.

"What happened to her?" He looks at me at first surprised and then amused. That amusement really annoyed me.

"I'll tell you if you tell me why you enrolled in this school."

"Why is it so important to you anyways?" I asked slightly annoyed. He shrugs and puts his hands in his pockets.

"Just curious, I guess."

"Forget it..." I roll my eyes and walk away annoyed.

"Woah, hold on. Don't get all mad, I'll tell you." He stopped me. I didn't know if I should stop or just keep walking. Again, as curious as I was, I stopped. This curiosity I always had led me into a lot of trouble in the past. When I was back next to him he started talking. "That's Ino, you saw walking away. She's the daughter of my mother's best friend, we grew up together. She's like my little sister. My ex-girlfriend started bullying Ino when I broke up with her. She's such a bitch..."

"That's not what I asked." I say annoyed.

"I know, you just need this back story to understand. When Ino went to sit down at her usual table, Karin, my ex-girlfriend, tripped her and she fell on her food. This happens almost daily and I keep telling her to stop, but.." I looked at him for a moment.

"So, it's your fault this girl gets bullied everyday."

"Pretty much." At least he didn't try to deny it.

"Alright then..." I said. I didn't know what to say next so I just walked away.

"What? So that's it?" he yells after me. Just like before, I keep walking away. I don't want to be dragged in any kind of drama. I came here to get better, I came here to escape the drama. This was not something I needed to do, I wasn't asked to help this girl and I wasn't going to. This was non of my business.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2: Selfish is the word

The familiar panic set over me again. I struggle to breathe but it's like I can't find any air around me. I open my eyes alarmed and cough a few times. I look at the ceiling, at my hands. It started again. I notice that the sheets are soaked and so am I. I take a few more breaths in to make the dizziness go away and I get up. immediately the room starts spinning and I fall. I look around and I see strange shapes and shadows spinning around me. I'm in incredible pain, my whole body hurts. I crawl into a ball and wait for it to pass.

This is why I asked for a single...

The next morning I wake up on the floor in a sweaty mess. Thankfully I have time for a shower and I know I need one.

I've been having these episodes for so long now it became a routine. Almost every night I wake up confused and in pain. And it always feels like it's the first time.

I walk out the door feeling slightly better, but with the same dark mood I had on my first day here. I am also hungry and I don't know how breakfast works here. But I keep walking and endure until lunch break, which came incredibly fast today. Bad day or not, it's going pretty fast.

Like I've done every day I buy some cookies and a slice of pizza, I sit at an empty table and I read not paying attention to anything that happens around me. Even if I try to not pay attention I still notice the blonde girl being bullied by the red-head. And then I look at my locker buddy and I see him sitting with his friends, who are laughing, just looking like an idiot, not helping her. Then she runs out and he goes after her. Like clock work. I said I don't want any drama, but even I am starting to get tired of this. If that guy doesn't do something soon enough I think I might.

Today, though, there is no blonde girl in sight, just the red-head eating normally. I only notice this because I finished my book and I don't have another one on me. Bored out of my mind I take my cookie and my book and walk out. I have to use the bathroom anyway.

I pick the closest bathroom and when I walk in guess who I run into? The blonde girl. Blondie as I now call her. I look at her. She sits on the counter eating a small sandwich just looking sad and defeated. I sigh and say nothing and she's happy to do the same. I go and do my business and when I come out I notice that she's still there just looking at the floor, sad. Really, this is such a pathetic sight. If I was just a bit more heartless I would've ignored it.

"You know why she keeps bothering you? It's because you're an easy target. It wouldn't kill you to talk back."

"I know!" She says frustrated.

"Then why don't you? You know what I think? I think you got comfortable with this routine. Or are you doing this to get Sasuke's attention? Cause this is not the way to do it." She looks at me surprised then goes back to her sad little corner.

"It's not like that. I just don't want to make her madder."

"Why is she doing this?"

"She thinks Sasuke left her because of me. I mean...she bothered me before that too, it just got worse after."

"And why isn't Sasuke doing anything?!"

"Because I asked him not to. I don't want him to get sucked into this." I cross my arms and look at her puzzled. I just couldn't figure her out.

"Do you...do you like Sasuke...or...?" I hated this kind of conversations! It was awkward and girlie and I wanted no part in it...

"No. We just grew up together, he's like my older brother."

"Some brother he is..."

"Hey! None of this is his fault. Don't you dare blame him!" She gets off the counter and looks at me angry. At least it's not pathetic anymore...

"Fine, whatever...Just stop looking so helpless, that's what makes her smell you." I turn to the sink and start washing my hands.

"I don't need your help! I didn't ask for it, okay?" And then she glares at me and walks out...The first time I try to help someone and it goes horribly wrong. So! Never doing that again.

I don't even know why I did it. I was never into helping people, I'm a selfish person and I know I am one, but why not be. Everyone is selfish they just hide it. And, if you think about it, selfish or not, you're still going to die at the end, might as well do what is best for you.

I go out to after that, I need to visit my locker anyway and thankfully Sasuke isn't here. I am not in the mood to listen to his stupid amusing questions...amusing for him. All I need to do is drop off my book grab some pens and I am good to go, I don't need any spectators for that. My next class was gym and I am lucky enough to witness another red-head/Blondie episode. I don't say anything though, she doesn't want me to get involved in her business, fine! She doesn't have to tell me twice. We walk in the gym and I see some more bullying. It's getting ridiculous! This red-head girl really needs to find a hobby! And still I turn around and try to ignore them. It's pretty hard since the red-head is laughing like an idiot. It's so funny you see...

The torture is finally over and we can go change and get out of here. At least on our way out there were no events. As usual I go to my locker to pick up my things for the last class for today and I figure that I should take all my things so I don't have to come back here today. This is when I notice my book is gone and instead I find a note.

'I took your book, it looked interesting. I noticed you finished it during lunch.~Sasuke'

I cannot believe this guy! He just takes my book! He just takes it! And he saw I finished it!?What? Is he stalking me?

I turn around and see a huge crowd right after the corner. I guess it's a good chance Sasuke is there too. When I get there I notice the red-head and Blondie in the middle of the crowd. What a surprise...

At the opposite wall I see Sasuke looking angry. Because looking angry solves things...

I decided to ignore everything since I'm not supposed to meddle and just ask for my book back.

"You have a lot of nerve just going around taking people's things!" I start. He looks at me like he just broke out of a dream.

"What do you mean?"

"My book! Give me my book back!"

"Can you do something for me?" He asks ignoring me.

"What?! No! I don't even know you!"

"Look! I just need you to go in there and make them stop! Just make them stop!"

"So go and stop them, what do you need me for?"

"I can't! She made me promise! She told me to stay out of it...If I interfere she'll stop talking to me and then she'll have no friends, it'll be even harder for her. Can't you just go in there and pull her out? That's all I'm asking..." I look at him and think. I told myself that I won't get sucked into any drama, that I had enough of it in my life, and now here I am about to go in there and start a fight. What are you gonna do?

"...fine...just hold this." I give him my bag and start pushing people away. When I get there I hear the red-head talking.

"Come on now! Just take it off. Weren't you the one bragging in 6th grade that you're the first in our grade to wear a bra?" How pathetic can she get? I grab Blondie's hand and push her behind me.

"You're done!" I look at the red-head and I feel the need to rip her hair out right here and now but I resist. I have a lot of anger bottled up. Then I just drag Blondie out of there and leave her next to her friend, take my bag from him and glare at them both.

"I want my book back by next week." He looks amused again and pulls out a book from his back pocket.

"This one?" I shake my head annoyed. I notice that around us the students are going back to their business. Finally, the scandal was over, but I don't expect the red-head to just stop after this. I guess I have to wait and see.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3: Dealing with normality

I am sitting at my usual table in the cafeteria and I am enjoying my very tasty breakfast. I wouldn't normally be complimenting a normal plate of food, but for almost 2 weeks now I only had lunch and a few cookies that I bought at lunch during the day because no one told me how the other meals work. In their defense, I should've figured it out...

I'm looking around while I'm eating and I see Sasuke at his usual table reading my book because the little prick took it without asking, I see the red-head's table right next to mine with her whispering and looking at me from time to time...laughing. I feel like she's only doing this because she's scared...scared of me or of losing her status. The bottom line is I couldn't care less...or at least that's what I'm telling myself to keep going. Like any other person her gossip bothers me just because it brings back horrible memories. I'm afraid one of those episodes I have at night will happen in the middle of the day, in front of everybody. Without letting her know I care I turn my head around and take a good look at the cafeteria. I notice Ino isn't here and I'm wondering if she's in the bathroom. Just to create an excuse for myself because I'm not supposed to care, I say I need to wash my face and I go in the bathroom I found her last time. Sure enough she's there, eating a sandwich.

I nod as a hello and start using the mirror like I'm only there for that object.

"Morning" She responds to my nod. After chewing some more she starts talking again. "So...I figured I should thank you...for...you know." I nod again. I think about it now and I can't figure out why I wanted to see if she's here. But I feel better now that I know she is and that what happened yesterday didn't bring her down.

"Were you going to take your shirt off if I didn't come?" This was a question that bothered me, together with others. I see she looks at her feet and bites her lip. Before she answers I already know what she's going to say.

"What other choice did I have? It's not that bad, it was just a shirt. It's better than being hit in the face and coming to school next morning with a huge mark that reminds everyone what happened the other day. I don't expect you to understand."

"I don't! I can't see what you're trying to make me see! I helped you, I gave you that push forward! Why can't you take the next steps? Tell her to fuck off. So what if she hits you, you hit her back."

"It's not that easy!"

"Of course it's not. It's never easy, that's what everyone says. It's because you made it complicated, but in my eyes you have two choices: either you fight back and get her off your back or you keep going the way you do now and I can't be there all the time to pull you out of these situations." I can't remember the last time I talked this much...She jumps off the counter and looks at me. Something tells me I made her angry. Quite ironic if you ask me.

"You don't understand, don't pretend you do. You can't understand because you don't know know how it feels, you were never in this kind of situation. I see you sitting at that table by yourself and I notice people are scared of you, no one would dare talk to you the way they talk to me! So stop giving me advice on something you can't possibly understand!" People are scared of me? How? I haven't talked to anyone, how can they be scared? Humans can be such pricks!

Her little speech shuts me up for a few seconds. What else can I say, I mean she's right. I've never been bullied, I was the victim of a lot of gossip, but you can't compare that with this. People were too scared to bully me, I guess Blondie's right, I am a scary person...

"Alright..." I give up. "I'll stop telling you what to do, but just so you know, if you ever need...help or...anything really, you can...come to me...okay?" I don't know what came over me to say that, but I did, it's already out there, I can't take it back. I keep telling myself that I don't need any drama, but I bet Ino could use someone to share the drama with. And not that it is important, but the red-head really gets on my nerves.

I notice she's surprised by my little statement and I get it. I'm also surprised. She mumbles a 'thanks' and walks out slowly. As soon as she's out I let a deep breath out and put my hand on the counter to stable myself. I got dizzy all of a sudden. I look in the mirror and I see that I'm unusually white. I drink some water clumsily and fight the urge to break on the floor. I close my eyes...just for a few seconds, just to get better. Thankfully the color is coming back to my face and my head stops spinning. I breathe relieved. The episodes were getting better.

I stay a few more seconds to make sure I can walk normally and act normally. As soon as I'm sure everything is back to normal I walk out without looking back.

The next few classes passed by very slowly, mainly because most of them were with the red-head and she was having a lot of fun bothering me. I honestly hate people that talk behind their back, I find it incredibly unfair and cowardly of them because if you tell a person what you think or what you heard you give this person the chance to defend itself, but if you talk behind its back, it's almost like you don't want to give it that chance. Gossiping is a coward's hobby. And it hurts the victim in ways it shouldn't.

I've gotten through it though, without saying a thing, but it doesn't seem to stop her, it actually makes her try harder. Sooner or later I might have to start defending myself even if I don't know against what.

I did the usual trip to my locker, only this time I see Sasuke there. I'm not sure if I should wait until he's gone or just go now. I figure waiting is ridiculous because I'm not trying to hide from him. As I walk closer the smirk on his face grows and that makes me get angrier.

"I need to use the locker." I say when I see he has no intention of moving. He looks at me smirking and moves.

"So, I have a confession to make." Great! Does it say on my forehead that I like talking to people?! "I don't like the book."

"Can I have it back then?" I can't care less, really, about his taste in books, I just hate having my things borrowed.

"Wow, okay. Easier than I thought." When I open the locker I notice that my book is there. Good, I can stop worrying about that. Then I look lower and my new book is gone! The one I ordered on fucking Amazon! The one I haven't finished!

"I took this one, though. It looked interesting." I felt my hands shaking of anger. This guy was in danger!

"I wasn't done with that..."

"Really? I'll bring it back tomorrow then."

"Just give it back now." I try again.

"I don't know...how long do you need to finish it, cause I kinda want to read it now."

"So order it, I'm not your public library." I say harsher than I want. Immediately I regret being mean, something that never happened to me before. Because of the state I'm in today and everything that happened I feel another episode coming. Today wasn't a good day to deal with all this.

"Woah, calm down! I'm joking, I just wanted to make you mad." He says amused, but I don't listen to him. I focus on my sight which was getting blurry...I bet my face is pretty white. "Are you alright? You don't look too good." I nod with my eyes closed. I feel so embarrassed right now, to be like this in front of somebody. "Should I hold you? What do you want me to do?" Hold me? For some reason what he said makes me sad and on top of everything I feel like crying. I open my eyes slowly and shove my head in the locker. Now that Sasuke saw how I get I don't want everyone else to see. I cannot explain how embarrassed I am.

"Just...just go. I'm fine, just go." I tell him. I don't know if he's here or not, but I put my head in my hands and I feel a few tears coming. I try to find a bit of stability. I feel a hand on my back and I realize Sasuke didn't leave. It makes this whole thing a lot harder to control. I want to talk, but I'm afraid he might realize I'm on the verge of crying. So I shut up and let his hand go up and down on my back.

10 minutes later, when I feel like I've gotten back some normality I sit down on the floor and forget about my last class. I see Sasuke sitting next to me.

"You'll be late for class." I tell him.

"I'm done for the day." I look at him confused. "I'm a senior, I have less classes." He's a senior? Why are we locker buddies?! "I think I deserve an explanation for all this." He's right, I just don't think I can start talking about my problems so freely after a life time of holding it in.

"I know" I say when the silence grows longer than a minute.

"So explain. Explain to me why you act the way you do." I feel his stare and I start to get uncomfortable.

"I just...I can't." I close my eyes tightly and cover my head with my hands. I hate being this weak! I feel his hand going around my shoulders and pulling me closer in a hug that threatens to make me start crying like I never felt before. A long silence follows and we sit there, just thinking.

"Ino told me about this morning and I wanted to thank you, that's why I waited for you here. I won't ask for the reason because, frankly, I don't care, I just want you to know that I'm grateful." I sigh. Talking about something else helps me regain some normality.

"Are you embarrassed to be seen with her?" Another question that bothered me. He looks at me surprised and almost angry, but calms down once he thinks it over.

"...no. She made me promise not to talk to her at school, at least when someone could see us, to not defend her or sit with her at lunch. She pretty much wants me to act like I don't know her."

"I think that because you do what she asked, she feels worse. I think that she would feel better if you break that promise."

"You think I don't know that? I'm scared that if I do break my promise she'll get mad at me and then who's there to pick up the pieces, you know?" I guess he has a point.

"I guess...Why did she ask you that?"

"She told me that if I talk to her Karin will get madder and on top of that, talking to her might damage my social status. I think she's right about Karin, but that second reason, I think that's just something she made up on the spot to make her argument stronger." She kinda has a point too. "But, I guess it makes sense what she's doing. This is my last year here, after I'm gone there's no one for her here. I guess she's just thinking realistically." I guess so.

"Well, if you think about it, I'm gonna be here when you're gone. I could...I could take care of her...for you." He chuckles and I see that annoying smirk again. At least the seriousness of this conversation is slowly going away.

"Yeah. Thanks for that." He looks at me with a smile I've never seen before and it really takes me by surprise. I immediately look down and bite my lip. I was never a shy person but his smile gave me butterflies and made me cower away.

Today was a very strange day, don't you think? I felt it the moment I woke up. I am a person that keeps to herself, but I wasn't always like this. I used to have friends, I used to be superficial...I used to be Karin. After last year I changed a lot, though. Today was the first time in a long time that I felt like I needed the company of someone. I think that means I'm getting there, that I'm going back to who I used to be. I don't know how to feel about that.


	4. Chapter 4

Ch 4: Appearances

What can I say? I am completely lost. I guess it's expected of me since I am quite new here, but still, I've been here for a month or so, how can I still get lost? I'm lucky I'm done with school for the day. Let me tell you how it happened. I simply came out of the gym, ready to go to my dorm, have a proper shower and maybe sleep all day long when I saw the red-head just standing in the hallway talking to who knows who. My brain immediately went DANGER! and I just turned around like a scared cat. That's what happened. All I wanted was to go home, but that little insecure bitch was blocking my usual path. I was then stuck finding a new path. Well good luck to you Sakura, you little clumsy idiot. Of course, I'm secretly clumsy, no one can know. Right now I'm wondering around an older part of the school which is a bit darker because of the lack of windows. It is quite scary. I'm holding on to my bag like the bag can save me.

Suddenly, walking around, looking around I see a lighter spot and I go there. I'm just standing in the light turning around trying to figure out where it comes from. I look up and I see a window. Not surprising, but when I look out the window I notice it doesn't show me a yard or any kind of exterior. I see a greenhouse. An old greenhouse, but it is beautiful! The flowers are all dry, but there is this fountain right in the middle that looks amazing! So I look around trying to find a way in. I figure that if I don't find a door I'll just climb in the window, it can't be that hard. Then I see another spot of light and another and another and they go on down the hallway. So I follow then and sure enough I come across a door. A huge door made of glass which luckily is not locked. Even if it was locked one of the doors has no glass in the metal frame so getting in is not such a big problem.

I see dry flowers everywhere, which means this truly is an old greenhouse. The fountain is still working properly and the water coming out of it makes the place refreshing. I have to say it smells horrible in here, but the smell sort of goes away when you stay near the fountain. The walls are all glass and you can see the outside very clearly. In the back of the greenhouse there are an old table with 4 chairs, which used to be white at some point. I love it here! It feels like I found my oasis. So I place my bag on the ground and I sit on the fountain just smiling like an idiot. Next thing I know I'm reading my book lost in thoughts. I only stop when I notice there isn't enough light to keep reading.

Lost, smelly, hungry and tired I walk out of my peaceful oasis and look around once more. It turns out I was right behind the cafeteria this whole time. It's nice to know where you are again and to know that I can come back here tomorrow. I realize that I don't have time to go change and come back for dinner so I decide to just go in and eat when my phone starts ringing, which is strange because no one ever calls me anymore.

No, wait, it's mom. Which is even more surprising.

"Yeah...?" I ask reluctant.

"Honey, hi! How is school, did you get settled in?" I haven't talked to her in 1 month. I feel like I'm talking to a ghost.

"Yes, mother, I've been here for 4 weeks I got used to it."

"That's lovely, sweetie. I'm glad." She says not really listening. I got used to that. "So do you need anything? Any money?"

"Um, sure...send me some money." One thing I can count on.

"Wonderful. I'll call you some other time, I'm a bit busy." Of course you are...

"Sure, bye." But she's already gone. I sigh. I'm not even hungry anymore.

The next morning I go into the cafeteria and sit at my usual table with a different book in front of me. This morning we're having pancakes, my dad used to make some killer pancakes. This makes the day start with a strange sad nostalgia. I sigh.

Reading a very boring descriptive passage of my book I'm more aware of my surroundings than I would like to be. I hear something moving around in front of me and when I put my book down I see Ino.

"Um..." I start. She sits down with her breakfast and looks at the table more than she looks at me.

"They put glue all over my usual table. They thought I wouldn't know but the glue smelled and it had a strange shine. I figured it would be okay if I sat here, just for today, I mean."

"It's fine." I say faster than I would've liked.

"I can move if you want."

"No, it's fine." I say one more time. She nods and starts eating. I try to go back to my reading, but it doesn't feel right so I put my book down and clear my throat louder than I wanted to. I look awkwardly at the ceiling. "You can-you can..." I stutter. "Um...you can sit here from now on. If you-if you want...of course." It feels like this is the first time I'm talking to somebody. She nods and goes on with her eating. I think it would be best if I just burry myself in my book. She pulls out a notebook from her back and starts writing on it. I now know it's safe to go back in Tolstoy's universe.

We stayed like that the whole breakfast, we also heard some laughter from the red-head's table, at least I did, but I ignored it. We are standing up now taking our trays to the trash bin.

"What's your first class?" Ino asks with a courage I didn't know she had. A courage I'm sure I no longer had.

"Just, Math. Um...you?" It's been 5 months. 5 months since I had a conversation. A real conversation that is. In those 5 months I talked about my feelings with shrinks, I cried in corners and cried myself to sleep. I barely talked to my mother and I lived through night tremors that made me be afraid of the bed. The night tremors weren't supposed to happen, but they did. After 5 months like that I am now trying to have a normal, trivial conversation and I have no idea how.

"History. We can...we can walk together...if you want." I know one thing. I can still read people like I used to, maybe even better. I know Ino needs a friend, I saw that before and it's screaming at me now. God knows I need a friend so call me crazy, but I think Ino and I could really get along.

"Uh, sure. Sounds good." I go as far as smiling. I used to smile a lot. I remember these incredible Sundays with my dad. We were always eating pancakes on a Sunday morning, only on Sunday mornings, then we would always go to the aquarium because it was my favorite place. After that we would spend an afternoon at the best ice cream place and then we would go home and watch Star Wars until it was night. I would always smile back then because everyone said I had my father's smile, that I'm the spitting image of him. My mother would never join us because she thought it was stupid. Sometimes I wonder if the woman my father fell in love with will ever come out again.

We are walking together to class since it's in the same direction. We are surrounded by this awkward silence, I saw that coming. Making friends was harder than it looked.

"Listen." I start, biting my lip. "I have this music club after school, but after that I have nothing to do so I was thinking that we could watch a movie, have fun, eat junk food and talk girl talk. You can tell me all about Sasuke and why you keep him away...if you want, of course. What do you say?" She looked at me slightly happier than she was at breakfast, but that little smile that was taking shape disappeared when I said Sasuke. Can't wait to hear about that.

"What kind of movie?" It is clear that she's saying yes. This is a huge step towards normality, a step I needed to take.

"Um, Star Wars. I haven't seen it in a while. And since it's Friday you can stay later than usual so maybe we can watch them all." She looks amused. I never saw that look on her.

"You like Star Wars?"

"Yes. I do. Why is that surprising?" It feels easier now, like we had this huge hill to climb over which we now overcame. The conversation has this easy-going feeling to it, something I missed.

"Well, you don't look it."

"What do you mean?"

"You look like you enjoy shopping and gossiping. You dress like you're always going to be the main attraction of a fashion show and you have this unapproachable attitude. I thought your favorite movie would be something like A walk to remember or Breakfast at Tiffany's." I look at myself then back at her.

"I like those too, but I prefer the books."

"That too. When I saw you pull out a book at lunch I knew you there is a lot more behind all this." She said pointing at me like she was pointing at a curtain. I nodded and we kept walking.

"So you're in? I didn't ask. Are you okay with Star Wars?"

"Sure I'm in, it's not like I have anything better to do, no offence. I never saw Star Wars though."

"What? I don't believe it! We have to change that." She smiles and nods. We both walk in our own direction. It started out as an awkward silence, but after five minutes the conversation flew by. It made the nostalgia go away, but I'm sure it will come back as we're watching Star Wars. And I don't dress like I'm about to be on a fashion show..I don't!...This is going to bother me.

I walk out of Math and I don't see Ino around, but I'm not exactly waiting for her since I need to get to my locker. I walk slowly, trying to make my heels make no sound at all, since what she said bothered me a little. The last thing I want is attract attention. So I sneak by everyone and I shove my head in my locker. I look at myself in the mirror I put at the back of the locker. I see perfect make-up and a messy side bun. It's a casual hair-do for me, but is it too much? Without thinking about it anymore I undo my bun and shake my hair out making it fall on my back. It is slightly curly because it was braided last night.

"Well, that looks hot on you." I hear Sasuke's voice as I was lifting my head, throwing my hair on my back. My pink hair is everywhere.

"Don't say that." I say embarrassed. For a moment I forgot other persons were there.

"That's funny, you don't look like a shy person." Again with that! My appearance should stop giving impressions to other people.

"Don't say that, either."

"Fine, I'll shut up now."

"Sasuke, do I look like I'm taking part in a fashion show?" And finally, I ask. A second opinion is not such a bad thing to get, is it? And he's the only person, besides Ino, that I actually know at this school.

"Oh, am I done shutting up now?" He asks me amused. I give him a look. "Yes, Sakura. But I can't say you don't look hot, though I bet you look hot in everything."

"I'm sorry, are you flirting with me? Or what's going on?" He chuckles leaning against the neighboring locker.

"I'm just happy. I tend to be like this."

"Why so happy?" I was a bit happy too, today. Ignoring the whole dressing issue.

"I heard about your plans with Ino." Seriously?! How? It's been one hour in which we all had classes. There is no way they talked.

"Did you, now? I swear, sometimes I think you work for the CIA."

"You look sort of happy too."

"Well, I am. Sort of, that is. Ino is not the way I imagined at all. She seemed shy, but she's not."

"Yeah, I know. She's actually funny, she always makes me laugh."

"Sasuke, I'm sorry to tell you, but you laugh at a lot of things."

"I like this side of you. You're sassy."

"I am not sassy."

"Sure.." We both chuckle and enjoy a nice comfortable silence together. After a few minutes I ask again.

"Are the clothes really that bad?" And, of course, Sasuke laughs.

"Sakura, the way you dress is just fine. You remind us of a magazine cover. This is a small town, you should've expected this."

"I just thought everyone dresses the way people do in New York."

"But this is not New York."

"No, it's not." New York...my home town. The city that once brought feelings of happiness and love to my belly. A city I couldn't wait to get back to. But, now...New York has this dark cloud over it. A dark cloud that managed to swallow every single ray of sunshine in just one year. No, this was not New York. For the first time in my life I was happy to be far away from my home town.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5:

"Hi! My name is Sakura Haruno, I ordered a piano a few days ago and it was supposed to come by now."

"Hello, Miss Haruno. Yeeees, I see you in the data base. Your piano will be there tomorrow afternoon."

"That's two days late..." I say annoyed.

"We know and we're sorry but the piano had some functioning problems and we had to change it."

"Yeah, ok. Look. I need to ask you something."

"Go ahead."

"I need you to deliver the piano in secret, no one can see you, is that possible?"

"...Umm, sure. May I ask why?"

"...Ummmm,of course you can. It's because-it's because tomorrow is my friend's birthday and I don't want her to see it. You know how it is with gifts." I banged my head against my locker.

"I see. We'll see what we can do about your request. Is that all?"

"Yeah, thanks." We say goodbye and I hang up. I close my eyes in embarrassment not sure why.

"Who's birthday is it?" Great! Sasuke!

"Birthday? What birthday? Who's birthday?" Can I be more idiotic?

"I don't know. You tell me."

"Ahh, well I don't know what you're talking about. I think you're going coo-coo" Laughing hysterically and not being proud of it.

"Right, suuure. Look I don't know what's going on, but if you want to get me a present my birthday is in a month." What? This guy has a way of getting under my skin!

"Why would I want to do that, I barely know you."

"That's nonsense, we're good friends?" Since when?

"Are we, really?" I ask raising an eyebrow.

"Come on. Remember when I comforted you that day. And when we got Ino out of that situation together and you always give me your books. If that's not friendship I don't know what is."

"I don't give you my books, you take them. And we didn't get Ino out of anything, I did. And I would like you to stop talking about that day." For once I was quite amused at his attitude.

"Alright! So we don't know each other that well. But now that you are friends with Ino I think it's only fit we get to know each other better." He sort of made sense. But the way he was throwing that smile at me made me all confused. Probably anything would make sense right now. Let's face it. The guy is good looking and quite charming despite all my complaining. Who wouldn't want to steal a kiss from those full lips, white teeth and sometimes minty breath...oh God! He needs to get away from me. "Are you okay?" He asks.

"Me? Yeah! I'm good."

"So what do you say?"

"About what?"

"I just said that I won two movie tickets for the local cinema and that it would be a good opportunity to get to know each other." I smiled.

"That's not true is it?"

"What is not true?" He asks amused.

"You didn't win the tickets."

"Well, I didn't. But I still want to ask you out." Ask me out? That made me feel good and cheery and all warm inside. It's been soo long!

"Depends on the movie."

"Really!? Okay! You're pick!" Ain't he happy.

"But it's not a date, right? We're just going as friends." I asked to be sure.

"Um..." Long pause.

"It's not a date right?" I ask again.

"Umm...it sort of is." He says scratching the back of is neck.

"What if it goes wrong? Mia will be crushed!"

"What? Who's Mia and why would she care?"

"Mia is our locker. I tend to name things." I had a pen named Ben and a chair named Stacy. Ben died and Stacy let me down. That was a clever pun I'm mentally hi-fiving myself.

"Well, _Mia_ has nothing to worry about cause it won't go wrong. Come on say yes." I don't know what to do...Ino and I are actually getting along and Karin keeps bothering her, but not as much since I'm her new target. My night tremors and my panic attacks sort of stopped. I still have them but only once a week or so, which means I'm actually starting to recover. But Sasuke still doesn't know about my past and I'm afraid that if I go out with him I'll have to tell him. Would that be bad? Telling him? I could use someone that knows how to deal with me. After how he handled that episode I had I think he's got what it takes. So it's settled then. I'm going out with him. Gosh, this feels strange, but in a good way.

"I-I...sure. I'd love to." I bite my lip and look down. This brings back actual fond memories.

"Yeah? Okay! Great! Tonight okay?"He asks smiling and I can see the shadow of a dimple. What is up with this guy!? Why haven't I seen this before?

"Tonight is great actually. Where are we going?"

"The movies, of course. I'll meet you here at 7?" I am looking at my shoes, at his shoes. I see his hands casually shoved in his pockets, then I see his smile, warm and just for me and for the first time in several months I feel the butterflies in my stomach going crazy. Such an embarrassing reaction but I'm enjoying every single moment of it.

"Meet you here at 7." I agree. And then there was awkward silence. "I have to go now..."

"I have to go now..." We both say at the same time and then laugh about it.

"I got History."

"I got Music Theory." I answer back.

"Okay then, bye!"

"Yeah, bye." This is ridiculous. I bet I'll re-live this moment all my high school life.

We both walk away from each other and I breathe in and out trying to pull myself together. It actually went better than I thought now that I go over it in my head.

At lunch I sit at the usual table, in front of Ino and I eat my usual cookies.

"School alright?" She asks like she always does.

"Yeah. You?"

"Just fine." Then we both take our books and we read. This has been lunch for two weeks now. There is this comfortable silence between us. We just understand each other without having to talk.

I don't know if I should tell her about Sasuke. I guess that if she's meant to know Sasuke will tell her.

"I know about Sasuke, if that's what's bothering you. I was the one who told him he should ask you out." What? Seriously? How did she know?

"How did you know?"

"I just figured. And you're holding your book up side down." I was? I was! God! What has become of me! "Relax! He's been wondering if he should do it for almost a week and I told him he should."

"But he barely knows me."

"Not really. He knows you better than I do plus he's always looking at you absent-minded. He says he knows all your silly habits." I don't know if it's cute or creepy. "For example before you read a book you always smell it and you always look at the cover for a very long time. He tells me this stuff like it's interesting to me. I told him it was creepy." I actually felt like laughing. I never thought Sasuke was like that.

"Really?" I ask amazed and slightly amused.

"Yeah, but you didn't hear this from me." She winks. I smile. I've been smiling quite often.

"Hey, are you up from another movie this Friday?" I ask excited. I promised myself that I would make this a tradition.

"Sure, can I pick the movie this time?"

"Yeah, sure. But if it's a bad one you'll have to go through my annoying comments every 5 minutes."

"I'm willing to do that." We both get back to our books. Behind us Karin is laughing like a lunatic again. Probably at us since she is throwing looks our way ever so often. She's trying so hard, isn't she? I can't wait for the day when I'll finally have enough.

Time passed and it was almost 7. My butterflies were at it again and while I was waiting I decided they were ten and that I should give them names. I only got to the sixth one when Sasuke showed up.

"Hey! Been here a long time?" I actually have because I'm lame like that but he doesn't need to know that.

"Nope. Just got here actually."

"Let's go then. After you."

"I would go but I don't know which way." I smile.

"Right! Then follow me." Okay! So things were awkward so far, at least on my side.

We have been walking for 5 minutes now and we are silent. I don't know how to break the ice. I could ask him about his family but I'm afraid that would be weird.

"So tell me about New York." He says. Thank God!

"Never been to New York?"

"I have actually but I bet I see it differently. I'm interested in your New York." That makes sense.

"My New York?...Well it's my home town. I don't know what to tell you. There is the best ice cream place in the world right around the corner from my building. My dad and I always went there on Sundays. There is the Broadway of course. Every month my dad and I would go see a cheesy musical. I don't know I guess New York has a lot of sides to it."

"I guess so. Maybe you'll take me to that ice cream shop some day." I look at him and smile.

"Absolutely. I'll even order for you."

"Sounds good! I have something to tell you."

"What's that?"

"I found out why you came here." I don't know if I should be scared or relieved.

"You did?"

"Not really. It's just a rumor going around school." God! He scared me for a moment. "They say your dad is a convict and that your mom left you. That's why you came here. Is it true?" He asked amused. He knew it wasn't true.

"It is true, actually. My dad murdered someone." I say amused.

"Did he, now? Gun?" Sasuke joins in.

"Knife."

"Of course. Of course. In all seriousness now. Can you tell me cause I've been going crazy about this." I guess it was time. Date or not it's about time somebody find out.

"...yeah. Just promise you won't avoid me afterwards."

"Come on! It can't be that bad."

"Just promise me."

"Fine, I promise." And as he said that he touched my hand with his and slowly put his fingers between mine probably to give me comfort. Either way it made my ten butterflies multiply.

"Some time ago my dad found out he had a brain tumor. It was a simple surgery because the tumor was in a perfect spot, easy to remove. But the anesthesiologist was drunk and my dad woke up during the surgery. The surgeon was surprised because my dad woke up screaming and his scalpel slipped and damaged my dad's brain. Obviously he died right there." I am not going to cry! I don't feel it anymore. I'm just angry at the doctor and angry at my mom and just angry at the world. I was squeezing Sasuke's hand and I noticed he was squeezing back. I didn't scare him off yet.

"That's where it all started. I took a small dose, just a small one to help me forget. I thought I could control it. I was so wrong. It started out with heroin but soon enough that wouldn't do the trick. My mom was oblivious to all this. Mainly because she shut herself in her room and didn't talk to me for weeks at a time. I didn't care. Most of the time I was drunk or high or hangover. It helped me forget though. I kept going like this until I woke up one morning in a strange bed...naked. I didn't know what had happened, but I knew it had to stop. I told my mom I'm going to grandma's and I went to rehab for 3 months. Then I came here because I no longer wanted to see New York or my mom...did I scare you off already?" I wanted it to sound like a joke, truthfully I am hoping he's going to say no.

"It's clearly not what I had in mind." He looks at me still squeezing my hand. The hard part is over I guess.

"What did you have in mind?"

"I thought you were just a rich kid who was tired of her parents and wanted to prove a point. Sorry for that."

"Appearances, huh? Hard to deal with them."

"Absolutely."


End file.
